Have you heard the expression “soft addiction?” It’s used to describe addiction to anything that isn’t life threatening. For instance, shopping all the time is a soft addiction; doing heroin is not. Spending too much time on the computer is a soft addiction; drinking yourself sick every night is not.
My question is, are soft addictions still true addictions? Are they as damaging to the soul as a true full-blown addiction to drugs? This is where my id chimes in, “But life is hard! Who does it hurt? It’s harmless!” My ego nags, “It’s not harmless! It keeps you from feeling and being.” My id answers, “Feeling and being, you have to do that no matter what! Life should be enjoyed not endured!” Ego answers “Humph, you are justifying!”
Unfortunately for me, I tend to break one addiction only to find myself facing another one. My life-long addiction to food seems to be broken at long last . . . and now I’m on this computer all the time.
It may just be my personality. I tend to absorb myself in one thing at a time, much to the dismay of my hubby. If I’m into doing crossword puzzles, for instance, I will do them non-stop for a couple of weeks and then I’ll stop. For a while last summer I was into Corn Nuts. I ate Corn nuts every day for a week and then stopped. For a time last winter I crocheted little stuffed animal creatures. I did that every day for months, and then when spring came I stopped. I like to think of it not so much as an addiction, but as intense attention. I’m a restless soul; my interests flit around like a butterfly. If I don’t seize an interest when it is present, chances are I won’t be interested again for some time.
For the time being, I think I’ll indulge my id and let myself flit and flutter around. Ooh . . . today I think I’ll research how to make homemade soap. Tomorrow, maybe I’ll try writing a novel. Or perhaps I’ll finally paint the basement. Or maybe not.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Butterfly
Posted by S.D.S at 6:37 AM
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6 comments:
My computer addiction paired with winter weather has put a serious hurt on my back and neck. All this sitting and no real exercise, so to speak, is bad for me. Soft addiction or not, I have to get up and move around for my health's sake.
Worst thing is, there just isn't that much to do right now.
Maybe I'll go clean the basement.
All things in moderation.
There's that "moderation" again. LOL
I am so like that. I get intensely involved with whatever it is that my interest has landed on. Have you ever seen the movie Adaptation? It is an adaptation on the Orchid Thief and there is this line about people being totally in to orchids forever and she can't understand how someone can be that way. It's a fantastic movie if you haven't seen it yet.
I'll be sure to watch that. Good to know I'm not alone in my dysfunction!!
In my life I'm aware of having been addicted, at various times, to:
Anger, booze, carrot sticks, chocolate, cigarettes, "Hill St. Blues," internet surfing, jelly beans, late-night television, "L.A. Law," "Law and Order," reading, science fiction, water (an ever-present glass at my elbow, a sip whenever I felt anxious - which was often) ... and probably at least one thing for every letter of the alphabet I've skipped.
Generally I have found it easier to "uplevel" my addictions than to delete them ... so, for example, I replaced my chocolate addiction first with jelly beans and then with carrot sticks; I replaced my cigarette addiction with water; I replaced my internet-surfing addiction with a limited blog-roll of folks I actually want to read.
What I find most useful nowadays is just to notice when I'm behaving like an addict. What is it that I'm avoiding? What is the feeling I don't want to have? Am I angry but don't know what to say about it? Am I anxious about something I haven't even noticed is troubling me? Is there something I "should have" done that I've forgotten?
Standing up helps; walking into another room helps. Avoiding the scene of the crime helps, though I've (fortunately) never needed to do that for longer than a few months.
My dad was a serious alcoholic, of the kind who "knows" he isn't because he can always drag himself to work in the morning and has never been fired for over-indulgence (though he came mighty close once, calling a major customer a humorous-but-dirty name and not noticing the man's outrage). So probably addictive behavior is in my DNA; certainly it seems to be in my personality.
Sometimes nowadays I let an addiction flourish for a few months or even a couple of years (computer freecell was like that; so was spider solitaire). But eventually I decode it, make a conscious choice to uplevel it, and move on.
To some other, more useful addiction.
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