It's us against them!

I have neighbors next door. I'm assuming they are human beings. I haven't actually seen them yet. What I do know about them is that they feed the squirrels.

Iowa squirrels are not the same as the squirrels that live in New York and other northern east-coast venues: those unobtrusive little gray things who skitter about and are not being noticed very often. I would venture to say that most east coasters only notice them when they are getting into their bird feeders.

Iowa squirrels are red and fluffy. They are quite pretty; against snow, they look like a greeting card. However, the squirrels in my backyard are becoming brazen. These squirrels are well fed, and ready to fight for their home. They know a good thing when they've got it. The other day, one of them walked right up to my back door, knocked, and asked for a sandwich. He even asked me to cut off the crusts. The nerve!

These squirrels lay down on top of our swing set, and when the kids walk towards it they start telling my kids off. It sounds like a lot of chirping and spitting, but I know what they're saying: "Hey, kid, this is my turf. Somebody's gonna get hurt. I'm ready to rumble, punk!"

My back yard has become a turf war. It's us against them. These squirrels don't seem to understand who's paying the mortgage around here. I've explained to them many times that these are my trees. I even showed them the documentation. They don't care. Dang cheeky squirrels.

Yesterday, we had a wild turkey in the yard. I hope he's not getting any ideas . . . .